FROM A MOTHER'S HEART

 

 

 

You were conceived within the warmth and safety of my body where you grew and developed. My womb was your first home, the place where you and I were joined in a miraculous and unique way. Each breath I took was your breath and the blood that flowed through me gave you life. All that I was and all that I experienced became a part of you. Intensely connected forever, I am, and will always be, your mom.

 

From the moment I knew of your precious life I could hardly wait to meet you. Eight months can seem an eternity when the longing is so strong. For the first and only time in my life I wasn't opposed to becoming fat! I anticipated with great joy the day it would be visible that you were alive inside me. Every week I spent hours gazing at pictures in pregnancy books to gauge your growth and development. Every morning as I lay on my back in bed, I'd push and probe on my womb in the hopes that I would feel even a small indication of your existence. I even wondered if I could hurt you with my persistent exploration. My doctor assured me that you were adequately protected and a simple measure of patience on my part would go a long way! I cannot say that I was any more patient, but it was only a few short weeks before I was able to feel the little ‘bump' that was ‘you.' I could not wipe the smile from my face or my heart.

 

It wasn't long before you grew to a size that made it possible for me to see you while lying on my back. I was so disappointed when I stood up and you disappeared back into the frame of my body. “Grow baby grow” was my constant chant. And grow you did! Nine short weeks and there was no doubt to me, or anyone who cared to notice, that you existed. You were a viable, living, human being, being fearfully and wonderfully made by the hand of our God within the confines of my flesh. There is no greater earthly miracle. You and I had become a permanent part of history.

 

I had heard of other mothers explain a ‘fluttering' feeling as their babies grew. I waited, but you fluttered not! It wasn't until you were good and ready that you surprised me with a significant little hop. The moment is forever etched in my mind. I pressed my hand to my belly where you lived and laughed out loud! I begged you, “Please, oh please do it again. I want to feel you hop again!” You complied. Through my continued laughter I decided you were a very obedient child. You were exceptional. At that very moment this mother decided that there had never been nor would there ever be, a child as precious as you.

 

I was indeed very right, because you my dear daughter are a unique and wondrous creation of God. When He released His imagination to create the heavens and the earth, and then breathed life into the very first man and woman, He already had you in mind. When He created the sleek and graceful dolphins to swim in the sea, he knew they would bring you pleasure. He was overjoyed in knowing that you would surround yourself with their images in your room to bring you a sense of peace and tranquility. As He painted the magnificent colors of the rainbow across the sky, He saw you painting those same colors onto ceramics to make beautiful creations of your own. While creating puppies, kittens and tiny creatures of all kinds, He smiled knowing they would delight you.

 

In His omnipotence He knew the exact moment in time when you would leave my body, your first home, and take your very first breath into your earthly home. He holds your destiny in His hands and He will be waiting for you when you take your last breath on this earth, and enter into your eternal home. Every detail of your life, including every heartache, struggle and joy, is held within His almighty hands.

 

As your Divine Creator He was well aware of the fact that when you were conceived within me, something wasn't quite right. That's not to say you weren't perfect. More accurately, you were perfectly unique, made with a specific purpose in mind. A purpose we may not fully understand until we see our Creator face -to-face…but nonetheless, perfection.

 

Your Heavenly Father knew from the beginning of time that you would have what is called Cancer. He knew every fear that you would have to face and conquer, every disappointment you would have to bare, and every needle that would pierce your skin. He knew the intense grief and suffering that would be placed upon your tender body. With such challenges placed before you, he knew you would not be able to survive alone. You would need someone to tangibly act out His love for you in a way you would understand. You would need someone who would love you more than life itself. Someone who would hold you, teach you, pray for you and walk beside you in all your trials. Someone who's own purpose was intimately entwined within yours. Someone whose very breath and blood helped give you life. So my precious child, He gave you, me. We are both a part of God's perfect plan and we are one another's priceless gift.

 

On August 18, 1982 at 3:11 P.M. when I saw you for the first time, heard your fragile voice and held you to my breast, you stole my heart in a way that no one else could. At that moment we began a journey together that would be our own unique experience. I could not have imagined on that day so long ago where our road would lead. Yet I knew even then, that I must teach you this fundamental truth, the foundation on which all other truths are built…your creator loves you! He loves you with a sacrificial, unconditional and eternal love. He will never leave you or turn His face from you. He has blessed you with strength and courage stronger than human reasoning. He has created your heart with an overwhelming capacity for compassion and the ability to persevere against incredible opposition. SUCH GIFTS! Such a personal and precious touch from your maker's hand. He has provided for you everything needed to complete the purpose for which you were created. You lack nothing. Absolutely nothing! There is no circumstance this life can throw your way that you cannot conquer through the monumental grace, strength and mercy of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

 

It is an incredible privilege and honor to be your mom. I cherish every minute of every day that we are blessed to share together. As long as I live, I will never stop loving you and striving to live up to the treasured title of “Mother.” God placed within my heart the day I was created an unquenchable desire to become a mom. That desire of my heart was granted on the day you were born. We are truly blessed my precious daughter. Yes, we are truly blessed.