Before you say “I do” to a prenup…

Q: It's June, the peak of wedding season. As a Christian lawyer, what's your take on prenups? Should Christian couples say “I do” or “I don't” when it comes to legal contracts between husband and wife?

A: While many attorneys strongly recommend prenuptial agreements to engaged clients getting ready to tie the knot, my concern is whether a couple can truly experience the physical, emotional, and spiritual unity of being joined as "one flesh" in the holy covenant of marriage if their legal interests are kept separate by a binding prenuptial agreement.

A prenup literally comes between the couple and undermines the foundation of the marriage. For a prenup to be valid and enforceable, most states require that the bride and groom-to-be each retain their own lawyers, so they can properly negotiate against each other to work out the details of the agreement. It is an adversarial process. Instead of drawing the couple closer, it sets them apart!

Is it healthy for bride and groom to be pitted against one another in adversarial legal negotiations during the months, weeks, and days leading up to their wedding ceremony? To me this is a no brainer. And the answer is no!

And once the marriage takes place, the prenup can often become the pathway to a quick divorce. When times get tough and challenging, as they sometimes do in every marriage, how much easier is it for either spouse to give up and walk away if they already have a roadmap for divorce on paper? The very existence of a prenup can encourage the couple to avoid the hard work of restoring a shaky marriage!

My advice to couples about to wed? Yes, by all means, say “I do” to marriage. But please consider saying “I don't” to that prenup!

Key Scripture: "Haven't you read," he [Jesus] replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." Matthew 19:4-6 (TNIV)

Stephen Bloom is a Christian lawyer and author of “The Believer's Guide to Legal Issues” (Living Ink Books, ISBN 0899570313). He is a frequent media guest, speaker and writer on Christianity and law. He is a Lecturer at Messiah College , and a Consultant at the United Methodist Stewardship Foundation of Central Pennsylvania. For more information, please visit his website at IsThereALawyerInTheChurch.com “The Believer's Guide to Legal Issues” is available at christianbook.com and other major online retailers.

Please note: This column contains generalized information only and is not a substitute for the specific legal advice of your own attorney.