Fragments

In a beautiful outpouring of renewed faith and humility before God, Rainer Maria Rilke penned these haunting, yet, significant-for-today, words in The Book of Pilgrimage :

I am praying again, Awesome One.

You hear me again, as words

From the depths of me

Rush toward You in the wind.

I've been scattered in pieces,

Torn by conflict,

Mocked by laughter,

Washed down in drink.

In alleyways I sweep myself up

Out of garbage and broken glass.

With my half-mouth I stammer You,

Who are eternal in Your symmetry.

I lift to You my half-hands

In wordless beseeching, that I may find again

The eyes with which I once beheld You.

I am a house gutted by fire

Where only the guilty sometimes sleep

Before the punishment that devours them

Hounds them out into the open.

I am a city by the sea

Sinking into a toxic tide.

I am strange to myself, as though someone unknown

Had poisoned my mother as she carried me.

It's here in all the pieces of my shame

That now I find myself again.

I yearn to belong to something, to be contained

In an all-embracing mind that sees me

As a single thing.

I yearn to be held

In the great hands of Your heart---

Oh let them take me now.

Into them I place these fragments, my life,

And You, God---spend them however You want.

          When I think about what humility consists of, this piece of Rilke's wordy tome is the perfect description. Is this not utter and complete surrender? Is this not the necessary humility before God that He desires? Rilke understood the hopelessness of life without God. His surrender to God came from the agonizing realization that “By the grace of God, I am what I am, and His grace to me was not without effect” (1 Cor. 15:10). Paul's humility in Corinthians is clearly mirrored in Rilke's poem. One of my Bible commentaries states, “True humility is not convincing yourself that you are worthless, but recognizing God's work in you. It is having God's perspective on who you are and acknowledging His grace in developing your abilities.”

          So, where does this leave us? If you are human and reading this, you have probably struggled with being humble. Have we not all felt the rise of heat to our faces when we have been wronged in some obscure manner? Have we not all refused Godly guidance because we “didn't like the delivery”… (Or the deliverer) of the correction? I am fairly certain that pride is an integral part of human nature---the same way a wag is in a dog's tail. It has the potential to start shaking with only the slightest bit of attention.

Really, there is but one solution to our pride because we know, “The Lord detests all the proud of heart” (Prov.16:5).

  The solution, while decidedly not simple, is found in James 4:10. “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up.” He will lift us up—what an incredible promise! He will reach for us with His giant hands of compassion and pull us close to His heart. There we will hear the very purpose of our lives beating steadily.

When we are emptied of ourselves, when we seek His beautiful face with a contrite spirit, then we have become the humble vessels that He will fill with those things that are specifically designed for our lives. God has the unique ability to take the fragments and shards that life has carved into us and form a handsome, patched and useful vessel with His very hands! Those fragments are the ones that Rilke offered to God. Hopefully, they are the same ones that we raise above our heads as an offering, as well.

Michele's Bio:

Michele is a freelance writer for Heartbeatthemagazine.com. She writes for various venues, such as: her blog site, twitter and revelife. She also does blog book reviews for Multnomah Press on her blog site.
Michele has a Master's Degree in Counseling and works in the public school system. That experience has afforded her a God's-eye view into the world's empty promises.
She is the mother of a 24 year old son, who is undeniably God's greatest gift on earth to her.
Michele divides her “free” time among several interests: jazzercise, kickboxing, running, cross-country skiing reading and writing.
Her most satisfying experiences though, are teaching and conveying the perfect Word of God to hurting and broken women. There is nothing quite as exciting as witnessing the spiritual dawning that occurs when God reveals His forgiveness and power in someone's life.
You may contact Michele through this magazine at: feedback@heartbeatthemagazine.com or at www.xanga.com/catzndogz9
She welcomes your sincere comments and suggestions.