Never Judge on the Outward Appearance

She was six-feet tall; weighed nearly 300 pounds; had problems with her dentures, so she never wore them. She lived in a low-income apartment; and didn't have a lot of nice looking clothes.

I met her online. Her name was Tammy. We developed a wonderful friendship. I learned that she had a heart of gold! She would do anything for anyone! She would give you the shirt off of her back, if you needed it! She was the kind that if you had a problem and needed help at three o'clock in the morning, you just knew that it would be okay to call her.

In developing our friendship, I learned about her spiritual life. She believed in God. She knew Jesus as her Savior; but she did not attend church. Her reason? She didn't believe in attending church with a bunch of hypocrites….her words, not mine.

Within a few months, I talked her into going to my church with me to give it a try. I told her how much I loved it, and how I felt that she would find people friendly and open to receiving her in the church.

The day came for her to attend church with me. She told me that morning that she had gone out to Goodwill that week and purchased a dress for $4.00, so she would look presentable in God's house. Her hair was curled. She had applied makeup. And she looked beautiful!

We got inside the church and found our seats. After a short time of praise and worship, we were asked to greet each other with a handshake or a hug, as we did every Sunday. I got up to shake the hands of my Brothers and Sisters in Christ, as they did with me, as well. In a short time, I looked to see where my friend was.

She was sitting in the same spot she was when I stood up to greet the others. She was looking at her bulletin. I asked if she had been greeted by anyone, and she replied, “No”. Not even one single person came to her to welcome her! I felt really bad for her. I then realized that I should have introduced her to the others; maybe that would have made a difference. So after church was over, I met up with some people that I knew from church, and introduced her to a few of them. To be honest, I was appalled at how they received her!

Every single one of them was very stand-offish with her. They extended their hand to greet her when I introduced them, but then as they pulled their hand away from hers, I saw them wipe their hand, as if she had some sort of disease.

The look in their eye was of disapproval. I was embarrassed and hurt, for her.

When we talked that next week, she explained to me that she felt very out of place at my church. She did not feel welcomed, at all. She felt others looked down on her. She then told me that she had written a letter to my Pastor and explained to him exactly what she had just told me. He wrote back to her and asked for a second chance. He said he felt maybe it was just an “off” day, as I had told her. So two weeks later, she attended church with me again.

Same exact thing happened to her on this visit, as well. After church, I was bound and determined to find someone who would actually visit with her, and not treat her like a leper! I finally found someone who I thought fit that bill.

As Tammy and I stood there with this woman, I noticed the woman was giving her the “once over”….you know the “look you up, look you down” look. She had a look of total disgust on her face, and the next thing out of her mouth, nearly made me CRY! She said, “Christi, do you smell that ? Someone STINKS!” and she looked directly at my friend, Tammy! I immediately grabbed my friend Tammy's hand and led her out of the church. She was in tears! It made me sick to think that a Sister in Christ would treat another person this way!! Needless to say, Tammy never returned to my church, and eventually she stopped talking to me. I lost her friendship because of this horrible experience for her!

Have you ever hurt for someone so bad when they were treated so horribly? If these people had given Tammy the time of day, they would have found what a wonderful woman she truly was! They would have gotten to see that heart of gold that she had! But because of how she looked; which wasn't up to “their” standard, they didn't give her the time of day, and they broke her heart along the way! THEY were the ones who lost the blessing in knowing her!!

So, my message this month is this: When you go to church this Sunday, reach out to someone that may really need it; not someone that you know; or someone that you would feel comfortable reaching out to! Reach out to someone that you wouldn't normally reach out to! Maybe they may not dress appropriately. Maybe there hair is dirty. Maybe they just don't look “right”, (whatever that may be!!) Reach out to them! Invite them to lunch! Invite them to a bible study. Invite them to something!!

You would be surprised how many individuals come to church to find fellowship; and how sad it is when they don't find it….in the house of God!

Matthew 25 (The Message)

  37-40 "Then those 'sheep' are going to say, 'Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?' Then the King will say, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me.

Christi's Bio