Why You Can Love Yourself

Many people have a negative reaction when you talk about loving yourself, especially in a culture where great value is placed on self-sacrifice and caring for others. How can one possibly talk about loving self when there is so much need in the world? Is loving yourself the same as being selfish? Is it possible to love yourself and still have a healthy love for others? The Golden Rule states “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” We all want people to love us, and we need to be able to love ourselves.

Developing a healthy love of self means, getting past “false humility” and beginning to acknowledge the good things about your life. Let's start with the basics, “I am alive.” I don't know about you, but I love being alive. I have some beliefs about what it is like to not be alive, but I do not have the benefit of “knowing” what it is like; therefore I cannot say that I think I love being dead more than being alive. This life is filled with set backs, disappointments, hurts, trials, etc, and I hear some people say that they do not love their lives. I understand not loving the way life has turned out, but let's not confuse that with simply being alive. In the big scheme of things, this life is very brief, and we should be thankful for the opportunity to breathe and experience it.

Secondly, according to the Bible, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” I am created by God, and like the young child said to his mother, “God don't make no junk!” Belief in the creative hand of God is a great basis for valuing human lives, and it is a great motivator for getting involved in meeting other people's needs. It seems that some people, however, have a difficult time viewing themselves with that same perspective. They might say, “I must feed the hungry and care for the sick, because those are God's children.” Excuse me, but you are also one of God's children. That same value you place on others due to Who created them should serve as the basis for loving yourself and taking care of your needs as well.

Finally, love yourself for the virtues that you possess, regardless of the degree or level that you possess them. Most people love honesty, hard work, sacrifice, kindness, and faithfulness. Take it one step further and love yourself because you are a hard working, honest, kind, or faithful person. These virtues are probably basis for why others love you; its okay for you to love yourself for the same reasons as well.

Sometimes love for other people can have very shallow basis. They may be loved because they are wealthy, handsome, popular, etc. If we compare ourselves to them, we probably come up short, and that may be why we feel like we cannot love ourselves. Things like wealth, looks, and popularity are very fragile and temporary though. If we can look to more permanent things like life, God as our Creator, and virtues like honesty and faithfulness, our love for others will be more stable, and we will find that there are plenty of good reasons to love ourselves.