Kingdom greetings Heartbeat readers,

Last month we charged out the starting gate off to an excellent start with me challenging you take a look at the roles people play in your life and to bench those whose behavior does not mirror the Good Shepherd, Jesus. This month we continue in this theme. How can you be more loving in your relationships? Where are you in terms of growing closer or further apart in your relationships? After interactions with you, are others moved closer or further away from Jesus? These are the questions we will explore this love month of February.

Do You Make These Relationship Mistakes?

6 Ways to Grow Closer or Further Apart in Your Relationships

Do You Know What Makes Relationships Funny? It's the way you can be so close one minute sharing intimate details with one another. For example, you believe God has sent Mike, your Boaz, and you ask the person you are in relationship with to pray for you/Mike. Gladly, they do, and even share what God places on their heart as they pray. Whoo hoo! All is great. Then, BAM the next moment you resort to basic one-line greetings like, "Hi, how are you?" "I'm well." So much for a conversation and you hurriedly get down to brass tactics.

This stance of maintaining polite distance, keeping the interactions short and brief, and the conversations superficial is the way many Christians relate to one another.

So what fosters these types of interactions? We believe it is disagreements, lack of trust, and confrontation. Let's prove this out. Do you think the majority of relationships grow closer or further apart after one of these occurrences? The answer is further apart. Over 50% of the people in relationships grow further apart when tested. How you handle all of these issues determines whether you will grow closer or further apart.

When you encounter confrontation or disagreements, do you make the mistakes of polite distance, short, brief, and curt interactions, and holding superficial conversations? These are just some of the unhealthy ways many Christians relate to one another. So, I share 6 ways that relationships grow closer or further apart to heighten your awareness and shake up your relational senses.

6 Ways To Grow Closer In Your Relationships:

1. Be honest, open, and truthful in your communication.

2. Pray, hope, and wish the best for those you are in relationship with in order to continue in love, grace, and kindness.

3. Have a strong desire to work on and be in relationship no matter what. Commit to one another.

4. Accept others' shortcomings and faults.

5. Desire to know the heart of those you are in relationship with.

6. Know your own heart and motives toward others.

6 Ways To Grow Further Apart In Your Relationships:

1. Gloss over and avoid the issues.

2. Shut down entirely or communicate ineffectively when disagreements occur.

3. Pray and hope ONLY the best for “self.” For example, look at what she or he did/said to me, “How could they do/say that to me?” “Why can't they just do what I ask of them?”

4. Have a zero tolerance, no grace policy for the faults and shortcomings of everyone except you know who-SELF.

5. Simply no desire to work on and be in the relationship any longer.

6. Impure motives and an unclean heart blind you to the reasons distance is creeping in between you and those you care about.

Awareness Tip:

Start this year off by committing to keeping a journal of your daily interactions with others to be aware of how you are showing up and to watch for growth spurts, dips or stagnancy in relationships.

Kindness Tip:

According to a recent study conducted in an elevator, both men and women who were presented with a flower (rather than a pen or nothing) were likely to smile. Give someone you are in relationship with a flower or a bouquet of flowers and put a smile on their face.

Additional tantalizing pointers for consideration:

•  How did the relationship start?

•  For what purpose are you together?

•  How different would the relationship be if you stuck to those God-intended purposes for one another?

•  What could you remove from your life that is getting in the way of you making progress in the relationship?

•  What would it look like if you got into the game of what God wants to do in your relationships?

•  What are you holding onto that no longer really serves the relationship?

•  How does resting in God's timing come into play in the relationship?

You can apply these tips to grow closer and still grow apart because one of the persons in the relationship does not desire personal development and change. They simply may not be committed to life-long learning, which automatically creates distance.

Certainly, there are many other things you can consider to heighten your love awareness in your relationships. This is just a microcosm to help you get started on your journey to fruitful relationships.

May truth, wisdom, creativity, love, grace, and joy be multiplied to you!

Karen M. Pina

GOD's Coach

Karen's Bio

International coach trainer, author, leadership coach, and minister, Karen M. Pina has been creatively writing for over 15 years. Karen's business, personal, and leadership development articles are featured in various online publications, newspapers, and magazines. She is the author of the well received "Leadership FITness - Experiencing Fullness In the Temple" and "Is it the job, the boss,

you. . . or are you an entrepreneur?"