A Father's Redeeming Love

“I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.” John 14:18

It was summertime. I arrived on their front steps an overweight, emotional wreck of a sixteen-year-old. To the left of me laid a small, blue suitcase that housed what few belongings I could hold claim to. To the right of me stood my caseworker, Cheryl; both of us eagerly awaiting the door to be answered. It would be the front door of a foster home I would continue to pass through some thirty years into the future. God had provided for me in that moment in time, but I had only half accepted it.

Twenty years ago the National Foster Care Association proclaimed May as National Foster Care Awareness Month. During the month of June, we celebrate Father's Day. These two events hold great significance for me. As I pondered over what my contribution to HeartBeat would be for this month, God kept reminding me of a special foster father that has been a part of my life for so many years now and how fortunate I am to have had him in my life both then and now.

My background, with its neglect, abuse and abandonment, left no room to trust anyone. I would not allow myself to get close to him. I rejected everything he presented himself to be from the very beginning. I was empty inside, emotionally drained. The tragic death of my best friend, Tammy, just a few weeks prior, added more to my cup of grief. I was in complete despair, unable to cope with so many losses at one time. The last thing I wanted was another male to get close to. I distanced myself from my foster father for practically the entire two years I resided in his home, although he was never anything but loving, kind and generous. I was not about to give him an opportunity to contribute to the pain in my life. I was all I had left. I had to be strong. I had to look out for myself. At this time in my life, I was even convinced that there was no God. Emotionally, I turned my back on Him the day I dropped that single red rose down on Tammy's casket, feeling He, too, had abandoned me by taking the one person that really loved and cared about me from me. I can still hear the thud of that rose, as I turned and walked away from her grave.

Many of us who did not have a father growing up relate Father's Day with pain; it is not a happy time of celebration. Those fathers who had absent fathers cannot give what they did not receive. More times than not, because they did not have a proper role model themselves, it is a painful cycle of neglect for all involved. I was not able to embrace the love of God, my heavenly Father, until I released my heartache to Him for healing; and I was well into adulthood when that occurred. There was no other way for me to go. I had exhausted all other routes. I discovered later, in releasing that agony, I was able to embrace the love of my foster father and even those other fathers who brought pain to my heart.

This Father's Day I want to speak a word of encouragement to those who may not have ever known a father's love. God does know our areas where we lack wholeness. He promises to come to us. He will restore all that the enemy sent to destroy us. He is waiting for you. As recording artist Rachel Lampa says so well, and I hope you make the same discovery as I have, there really is “no greater love.” When we have the greatest love, we lack nothing.