The Less than Perfect Mother

Juda Myers © 2008

A day of honor has been set aside every May for mothers. Great sacrifices and demonstrations of love are remembered. Humility and unending dedication takes the spotlight. Women who are mothers or women who take on that role in noble character are praised on Mother's day. We all have expectations of what “mother” should be. I remember my own adopted mother who longed to be a mother when she could not bare her own children. I have great gratitude for her willingness to take on such a great feat. Then there is my biological mother who endured 8 men raping her and 9 months of sacrifice to bring life to me. My ex-mother-in-law who consistently loved me even though I divorced her son and hurt her deeply is greatly honored by all who know her. She never said a harsh word to me, but loved me like only Jesus could. These types of actions certainly deserve our honor. But what about the mothers who fall short of all that we need or want?

Society tells us to honor the brave, the sacrificial, the great and rightly so. Many others though, are left struggling to barely survive. The bible makes no specifications on which parents we are to honor but simply states “Honor your father and mother.” It may be very difficult to honor someone who was abusive and negligent. That is almost impossible in our own thinking. Thoughts like “She wasn't there for me so why should I be there for her?” run through our minds. Is this productive to either of you?

James Robison is a well-known man of God helping nations of people who are struggling. He is known for his ministry, Life Outreach International, which brings life to people through the knowledge of Jesus Christ and also through digging of water wells. “I was born in poverty, the result of a forced sexual relationship. An alcoholic forced himself on a practical nurse caring for his elderly father, and I was conceived. The result of that experience was ultimately my birth in the charity ward of St. Joseph Hospital in Houston, Texas. My mother, Myra Wattinger, placed an ad in a Houston newspaper after my birth asking for someone to care for her little boy.” A pastor and his wife took James and even allowed James to spend time with his mother. But at age 5 James was taken by his mother. “ I can remember hiding under the bed and literally digging my fingernails into the wooden floor as she pulled me, kicking and screaming, from beneath the bed. I did not want to go, but I had no choice.” It was a life of desperate poverty moving from place to place. He writes, “I was a minority—only 10 percent to 15 percent of the people in my neighborhood were white. The rest were Hispanic and African American. Gangs were prevalent, and I was the frequent target of unkind gestures and even beatings. I lived terrified.”

Christmases and birthdays started out good for him. The people who had cared for him before he was 5 sent gifts regularly. But then those gifts stopped coming. At 14 James learned it was his own mother that stopped the gifts. He says, “I did not understand why she cut us off. My first feelings were anger, bitterness, hostility and even hatred toward my mother. How could she do something so thoughtless, so heartless? But over the next weeks when I returned home, and during the next months, God's grace began to take effect. Suddenly, the true meaning of Scripture—that He became poor so that we through His poverty might be rich—began to find expression in my own heart.” James was finally allowed to see the pastor and his wife after years of being kept away by his mother. He was led to know the Lord during that visit with them.

God allowed James now to see his mother a different way. In his words, “ You see, my mother's parents died when she was very young—her mother passed away when she was nine years old and her father died when she was eleven. As a very young girl, she married a man who said he loved her, and yet their marriage did not last. Many men had said they loved my mother, but they hurt her and broke her heart. My own father forced himself on her. As a result of being used and abused, my mother lived a very lonely life full of heartache and pain. Now she had a little son—a son she had to give up for a few years after his birth. But then she took him to be with her. Starting at age five through age fifteen, she had a little boy who loved his mother!” Had it not been for God giving James insight he may have remained bitter towards his mother but instead he says, “ I understood, even as a teen-ager, the great need my mother had for somebody to just love her for who she was—and I did. Although I was hurt by what she did, God's gift through His Son enabled me to rise above that experience and pain, and to live a life full of mercy, grace and forgiveness for others.” And also he adds, “I've been hurt other times in my life, and perhaps some of it I have brought on myself. But again and again, God's grace, through His Son Jesus, has enabled me to forgive and offer mercy to so many who have fallen or failed. I have seen God restore people who most of society and the church have given up on, and I have watched the miracle of God's grace in action. It's truly a love gift from God. “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God” (Ephesians 2:8).”

We as Christians have access to great love. We ourselves did not deserve the honor of salvation but Jesus saw the potential and sacrificed his very own life for us that we might sacrifice our lives for his sake to others. This Mother's day as some of us will struggle with finding the right card, you may struggle with just speaking to your mother. For God's sake, for your mother's sake and for yours, please make an effort to simply tell your mother you wish her a happy and blessed day. Put aside your feelings and think on the Lord and what He did for us. Don't allow Satan to play with your mind and dwell on the bad “what if's”. What if it changes her life and yours! If your mother is no longer here then thank the Lord that He used her to bring you into this world. A heart of gratitude is life. Just do it. You'll be glad you did.

Juda Myers Freedom Ministries
Conceived in rape. LIVING WITH PURPOSE!

www.juda4praise.com

Juda is available for speaking and singing with an encouraging life changing message.
Phone: 281.451.8460