Hi! My name is Justin ( name has been changed). I have struggled with many hurts, habits and hang-ups until Jesus Christ got my attention and I became a believer in Jesus Christ . Some of the choice immoralities that had control of my life were alcohol, drugs, sex, anger and gossip.

Before Jesus Christ

When it came to my growing up years, I did not have a relationship with God. I was introduced to God at an early age. And I thought about God and Jesus when I was little but it didn't mean anything to me at the time. He was out there somewhere. I was exposed to church on Christmas and Easter as that was normal for our family to attend on the important holidays. I do recall being angry and bitter at the times our family would attend church because it took me away from my friends. It was common for me to spend a lot of time with my friends. We would usually be playing sports on a daily basis. The sports we usually enjoyed playing were football, baseball and basketball. There were even times when we would play all three of those sports in the same day. And any talk about God around the dinner table or inside our home was not commonplace.

At the early age of 15, my life was filled with alcohol, drugs and pornography. These were the things that would eventually dictate and control my life and my decisions. These vices would eventually lead to a life of unfulfilled potential. Ah …. the first time I experienced drunkenness was more than enough for me to continue as I liked the feeling that came over me. I continued and continued until I got to the point when I was unable to stop on my own. The excessive consumption of alcohol and use of drugs finally landed me in jail. In addition, I ended up losing jobs and relationships because of both. I got into fights with others. I experienced a life of depression and feeling less than when around other people. I found myself in situations I did not want to be in . I was relying on my own will power to get better. It wasn't working. I remained lost in this world and could not figure out why all these things were happening to me. Finally, somehow I came to the realization that this lifestyle was keeping me as far away from God as I possibly thought I could get. As I would come to find out later in life, God never left me or forsook me. It is true that He could not accept what I was doing and was sad about it. But He never gave up on me. He kept reaching out to me when I was not caring to spend any time with Him

What changed my life?

I actually came to two bottoms in my life. The first was when I was 25. I was living with a roommate who sold cocaine. So anyone could imagine how often I was either drunk or high. It was almost every day. One day this same roommate tossed a pocket guide New Testament bible my way. As I read it, the words jumped off the pages and began to change my life. What I was reading was not only convicting but enlightening. I was starting to get answers to the many questions that I always had. Questions similar to “why am I here?” and “where am I going?” My life changed dramatically due to reading God's Word, the Bible. I stopped hanging out with the friends I would party with and started hanging out at church. I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior and followed that up with getting baptized. I continued going to church faithfully for the first 18 months. My life was much better than it had ever been. The transformation was so amazing and noticeable that my supervisors noticed a difference in me. No longer was I missing work or showing up late and my work habits had changed drastically. The other thing that became quite noticeable was the change in how much I talked about God. I spent time witnessing to my family and friends about the saving love of Jesus and how He could make a difference in their life. I would love to say everything was great after that point but sad to say this was not how life continued. I had a second bottom to reach.

My second bottom came 18 months after being sober. I thought “Hey, maybe I can have a glass of wine occasionally. After all, didn't they drink wine in the Bible?” So I began to occasionally drink a glass of wine. What ended up happening? I returned back to being a drinker and cocaine user daily. I soon discovered the partying life was not where it was at. I ended up back where I was without a job and a car. I had very little clothes. I stopped attending church. And once again, I was living life as if I had no hope. As a result, I realized once again that I needed help before I would end up in jail, an insane asylum or dead. My future was not looking too bright. That was 20 years ago. This was the last time I lived by a lifestyle of drinking and drugging. Life has not been perfect but it has been a joy to live.

What God has done?

God has done many amazing things in my life ever since. It first started with God bringing a really good friend into my life. And then introducing me to Alcoholics Anonymous to where I could hear the experience, strength and hope of others to one day being able to share mine with those who walked into those rooms later in life. I was able to buy a car and purchase insurance with it. With the help of my girlfriend whom I ended up marrying, she helped me obtain a checking account. I became a father to a wonderful daughter. And the biggest blessing has come from God giving me the strength to face the demons in my life and slowly clean up the wreckage from my past. None of this was easy to do but I started living the life I had always dreamed of and wanted to live. God had a plan for my life and I started seeing it unfold right before my very eyes.

My relationship with God was weak at best until I started regularly listening to Christian radio. I was regularly putting the Word of God into my life. This enabled me to continually hear God's truth and to be used as the process to change my thoughts from what they were to what God would want them to be. I knew in my heart that even though I was sober and clean from drugs that I needed to be in church and living for God and not myself. I am thankful to God for changing my life for the better. He has given me a reason to live and more than that, He had placed His desires on my heart and started fulfilling them. Psalm 20:4 is a constant reminder of this for me. It reads “May He grant your hearts desires and fulfill all your plans.” I see this as an open invitation to everyone. God loves to bless His people who call on His name as He adds in 2 Chronicles 7:14, “If My people who are called by My name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from Heaven and I will forgive their sins and heal their land.”

God has used the process of AA and now Celebrate Recovery to help me heal relationships with my family and to bring healing inside myself where I can be comfortable in my own skin. I can now get through the daily stress of life. God helped me and is helping me overcome my struggles. And I know He will always help me with each and every struggle I face even after today. I have come to realize struggles will not go away but I have a God who is bigger than each and every struggle which helps me make it through each and every day. I have not been perfect with turning every struggle over to God. It is at those times when I still try to do it on my own that God reminds me and I listen and realize God is right. It is no longer a battle against God but against the struggles of life with God by my side. God has helped me think more of others and less of myself. God has done two great things in my life. First, He has helped me overcome hurts, habits and hang-ups and is still continually pointing some out to me and helping me change . Second, He has drawn me closer to Himself in order to have a personal relationship with Him.

If you have a story of how God brought you from the point of despair to a life of hope, you may   contact me via email to share your story and see if it could be used for future publications.

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