Great Expectations?

I had a sudden realization recently . . . like the light at the end of a long and dark tunnel.

I was remembering how I had been terribly let down a few years back when my new boss made a promise. He convinced me to take less than half the pay I was used to getting for the same job under my previous employer.

He said “When the business turns around we'll be able to change that, but stick with us for now.”

You can tell what happened can't you . . . the promised increase in pay never materialised. Even when I reminded him one, then two, then three years later, he never did follow through with a return to the level of income I expected. (Although to be fair on my fourth ask he did come up with a small increase.)

It was my dream job, which is why I hung on for so long. During that time the business did turn around and things were looking up. But then the GFC happened and the business climate changed very quickly.

After five years I gave up waiting and made plans to move on.  I left the position extremely disappointed with what had happened, after years of being patient.

Yes, I have learnt from this little adventure...

1. Get it in writing

ALWAYS get promises made like this in writing, including a time frame for re-negotiation.

2. My job. My Initiative.

My attitude was as much the problem as anything else. I lived in a constant state of trust that the promise would be delivered. So much so that I left it to my boss to initiate the increase. Reminding him every year or so actually didn't cut it. I know this now because the promised increase never happened.

Eventually I realised that I am the one who has the most interest in advancing my career. Not my boss, not my co-worker, not my girlfriend. I have to do it. It is my responsibility to get things moving. I needed to be one of those people who kept on knocking, kept on asking, and very politely kept him accountable to his promise.

Matthew 7:7-8 (NIV) says “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”

3. Expectation vs Expectancy

I lived in a constant State of Expectation. I waited. I was patient. I didn't raise my voice and I didn't flinch when my few requests were denied. In effect I let my boss get away with it and didn't hold him properly answerable to his promise. Sadly my stress levels and resentment grew. I was not happy. I have had to work very hard to let go of my resentment and to forgive my boss since then.

How different would things have been if I had lived in a State of Expectancy? If I had anticipated the promise coming to fruition with fresh hope every day. And fresh vigour. And a fresh reminding voice?

It is a subtle difference, but attitude can be fine-tuned by adjusting the way I approach my well-worn expectations. When I choose to live in a place of expectancy the outlook is very different.

As you approach 2012 how will you manage your expectations? Do you have new job, a new living situation or a new co-worker?

Are you struggling with unmet expectations?

How about having a go at living with as few expectations as possible, and live instead in a State of Expectancy .

Jenny Baxter lives in Australia's island state of Tasmania, and is the Communications Manager at Hobart's Christian radio station ultra106five . She is married to Stephen, and they have five children.

You can find out more about her at www.timetoshine.net.au